My daughter’s lack of fear or doubt brings into sharp focus my own fears and doubts, and I foresee raising her as a continual decision about what to teach her. For example, when I watch a car drive by our house too quickly I’m overwhelmed by the fact that, without the wife or I present, she would happily crawl out into the street. When the time comes that she needs the freedom to go out in our yard unattended, I wont share my fear of losing her, but I will make sure she knows to look both ways before stepping off the sidewalk. More complicated are people.

There is a saying, “There, but for the grace of God, go I.” I like this saying, and I think it has value even to those who may have doubts about God -- most everyone, I think, would recognize that factors outside their control contributed to the good in their lives. Arguably, it isn’t just God. Much of the good in my life has come from the kindness of others, kindness, that in many cases, I was wholly undeserving of. On the other hand I have been on the receiving end of considerable cruelty doled out by elementary and high school students who seemed to delight in the pain of others. I never really solved that problem, the best I came up with was to hide out in the library during lunch. Bullying ended abruptly and inexplicably when high school ended, but decades later I still have a certain mistrust of people in general.

What I didn’t realize until small child came along is that I have spent substantial effort building a life that minimizes the degree to which I must rely on the kindness of others. She shows me this by e.g. blowing kisses to strangers in restaurants. Whether or not my efforts are wise, she makes no such effort. Furthermore it gives me the willies to realize how unavoidable it is that, “There, but for the kindness of others, goes my daughter.” This has lead to no small amount of soul-searching and thinking about what it means to be a parent.